Day: December 13, 2014

One regret I must speak.  I should have donated my husbands organs.  I really regret not doing that but at that moment in time when I received the call and they said that they could still harvest his organs and after 17 years of marriage I couldn’t function.  I cried and screamed and my sister took the phone and talked for me.  Oh wow.  I think unless you go through it and it is a sudden unexpected death then you just are not in your right mind to make decisions like that, just to emotional.

When he was cremated and I brought his ashes home that was the first night following his death that I was able to sleep.  When he was back home where he belonged it was like it brought me peace to have him home again.

I love having him home and then in hindsight I wish I would have had his organs help other people in need.  At times I feel selfish that I didn’t put others first before myself.  People who could have benefited and lived on through his death.

The what ifs:

would have

could have

should have

Can you feel my joyous pain?

The gloomy misery like the rain.

The enchanted mysteries that lie ahead

Are you dead?

You oughta be…

Can you feel all the pain???

:

The boy next door being raped by his father…

The girl in the schoolyard being felt up by her teacher…

The altar boy being sodomized by his priest…

Your neighbor next door neighbor being beat to a bloody pulp while her husband is screaming at the bloody whore that she is in for more…

The KKK beating in a black mans door…

The drug pushers who try to sell heroin, cocain, pop, smack, angel dust, and more to our innocence coming home from school…

The prejudices we hear everyday cracker, tubby, nigger, chico, mulato, chigger…

The serial killer roaming the world waiting for his next kill…

To the racially motivated white supremacist chanting white power, white power dementing our childrens mind and they are continually allowed to breed…

The crazy next door breaking a beer bottle over their dogs head…

The gang bangers for what?!  Territorial horeshit, drive by’s, crime for fun, initiations, drugs…

The drunk driver coming down the road and in one thunderous smash takes out a family…

:

The list of pain

Can emotionally and physically drain

The headlines in the news

Everyone has views

On life

And the strife

That goes with it

But really who gives a shit

We are all on a train ride to death

And with our last breath

We will pray

That on judgement day

You will reap what you sowed

Good VS. Evil

Will you be LEFT BEHIND???

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/art/re-mystifying-nick-drake-40-years-after-his-death/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=pbsofficial&utm_campaign=newshour