It’s inside you, it always has been and it always will be.

Somebody needs to read this so I felt led to write this. It’s gonna be long, so exit now if you’re not in it for the long haul. This ain’t for sympathy or likes, this is for people that need to know circumstances do not define you. Your determination and drive define you.

If these walls could talk, they would tell you about Danny and Kathy and Daniel (me). This was my home for the first 16 years of my life. Holes in the floors, windows not always in place, no AC in the summer, space heaters in the winter. Loving parents by day, alcoholics that hated each other by night. Yellow ceilings throughout where the smoke had stained the once white-textured pressboard. If I think hard enough I can still hear the yelling from the alcohol induced fights that would occur on school nights, weekends, or holidays. I loved both of my parents and they both loved me but when the alcohol got involved, they didn’t like each other.

Needless to say growing up was tough; going to school always smelling like smoke, everyone knowing where you lived, that your parents were alcoholics and possibly the police were called last week because of a “disturbance”. It wasn’t a secret and it was obvious. I was picked on a little for the smell from time to time, kids are mean and I knew that, luckily it was nothing I couldn’t handle.

At 15, dad passed away and all that was left were mom and I and even through all the fights, my dad was her very first love and she really did love him, it was just something about Canadian Mist that they couldn’t handle together and should have stopped years before. But as we all know, hindsight is 20/20.

Fast forward a couple years, I had been blessed to have lived with some friends that had become family for a few years and that turned my life around and I was able to see what an actual loving family was and get an idea of what I wanted my life to be like. But feeling I needed to help my mom, I left this great family and moved back in with her in hopes of truly helping her recover, because she had a rough go after dad passed and even spent some time in a women’s prison after making some really boneheaded decisions.

Well, needless to say the boneheaded decisions weren’t over. One night I walked into the trailer and there was a giant dude sitting on our couch I’d never seen before, so I walk back to another room and there’s mom shooting heroin into her kneecap. Still, at 18 years old, I had no idea what to even say or do. After hearing my mom tell me that it was my fault she had the needle in her leg, I just bust out into tears and get out of that trailer as quickly as I could. No looking back. I stayed anywhere I could find a bed for another a year after that. Hotel rooms, family members houses, friends houses, in my car a LOT.

It was that exact moment I knew I had to get the hell out of Birmingham and start a new life elsewhere or I would just become a statistic like so many had before me. It took me about 8 years to really have a desire to talk to my mom again after that. But I can thankfully say that she got clean and sober for the first time since probably the 60’s, about 2 years before she passed away, when I was 25, she left the Earth.

Leaving family and friends to reset and restart somewhere fresh was insanely difficult the first time. I moved on a whim to Auburn to be with a girl and thankfully I was able to meet really good people and make lifelong friendships that I still have to this day. When mom got clean, that’s when I moved back to Birmingham and it was nice to get close to her again before she passed, I still have regrets about not speaking to her for about 8 years and I encourage you to take the high road if you’re ever in the same situation, to avoid the regret I feel in my heart.

I had some really great job opportunities in Birmingham and I figured I’d stay there forever but fate didn’t see it that way. I met another girl, and finally got a call back on an application I put in at my current company. I had been applying religiously, year after year, since 2006, for a shot. I was making good money but knew that the possibilities would be endless at the company in Columbus and my desire to get out of Birmingham was still there. Massive pay cut be damned, I took the job and uprooted my life once more, by chance, because I knew there was more out there for me than what Birmingham had to offer. Of course, another girl also weighed in on my decision making (women obviously are my weakness).

I started at this company as an entry level temp in a print shop bindery in their digital department. I’ve progressed so fast it seems to where I am today. People used to ask me why I walked so fast or why I tried so hard, well, because I have to. If you knew what I know and you’ve seen what I seen, you understand that one wrong decision leads to a life in a trailer with holes in the floors, misplaced windows, no AC in the summer, and space heaters in the winter.

Your circumstances DO NOT DEFINE YOU. Where you come from IS NOT WHO YOU WILL ALWAYS BE.
BREAK the mold.
DO NOT be a statistic.
No matter what you’re going through, no matter how difficult the time, you will bounce back.
You can bounce back.
I’m tired of the excuse that because of his or her circumstances their life turned out a certain way. That is the biggest lie that we tell in our society.
YOU define you.
Your character and your integrity define you. If you want something in this life, no one is going to give it to you.
Go take it. Be great. It’s inside you, it always has been and it always will be.

GO TAKE IT.

Posted by: DJdaniel Jackson Sims