Day eight writing challenge something that I struggle with.
For me, that would be stepparenting.
I find it a struggle all the time. My theory is that it isn’t the children that are the problems the problems lie with the adults. There are always issues that come up in this aspect of life.
You get accused of doing things that the other parent does. You see actions the other parent does and point it out and the parents go into meltdown mode. Communication about parenting is one of the hardest things I have experienced I am always walking on eggshells when approaching a topic on parenting with my spouse and it utterly sucks. I always experience you should of, you’ll see one day, you need to. Another thing that I find a struggle is when talking to my spouse about things our conversations are brought back into some nonsense that happened years ago with children. I try to talk about things that are happening in the now and it always gets turned into a completely different topic. While I am not perfect by any means! I have learned how to try to better my skills with being a better step parent and when I give advice it is just put in a blender and pureed. My faults that are like craters are always pointed out and rehashed over and over and over again. It gets physically exhausting. Rules have been changed and manipulated. I find that lying is okay for some children. Turning a blind eye to things is better than dealing with them. There are just a lot of slippery slopes that are ridden on a daily basis. Then there is just not being a team on things. It seems like a lot of things are handled and not spoken about and you find out much later in time. Children learn to play you both. They do when one parent is around and not the other and portray themselves in an angelic light and then when the other parent is gone they are up to their old antics that the other parent doesn’t see. I know that is just what children do but in a stepparenting situation, it is a far worse thing to deal with. I find as stepparents we have blinders on to children and their actions and it makes things far worse to deal with for both parties involved. Dragging children into your conversations isn’t healthy. People should be able to talk to each other working towards a solution. When you pull children into the middle of an adult conversation and step all over them when mom and dad aren’t done talking is just wrong. They shouldn’t have to deal with adults that can’t come to terms on issues and feel guilty or that they have done something wrong when it’s the parents that can’t get their act together is an unhealthy environment for children to be around. There are also morals that differ between both parents and you try to teach children what you feel is morally correct and sometimes that doesn’t go over well either because once again you and your spouse aren’t on the same page with those items. This also causes chaos and confusion with the children. Also, life is life it is what it is and there is no need to sugar coat life. To talk badly about your ex isn’t a good thing either it isn’t healthy for the children, you can’t think what you want but to undercut the other person is just wrong. To bury issues and have topics that you feel you can’t discuss isn’t healthy for anyone involved. Children need to know that life sucks and they need to be taught to handle life with grace.
I feel like I am one of those old school people that feel things should be done The Brady Bunch way. Yes, I do realize that it is just a television show people but I feel like there are a lot of good takeaways in that series. I think children should be watching wholesome shows, reading, playing board games as a family, etc… I feel that mom and dad should sit down and come to decisions together and then deal with children. Discipline, vacations, rules, etc… life should be dealt with between mom and dad.
I do love my life and where I am there is just always room for improvement on both ends of the parenting spectrum. I figure I could have made up some crap that I struggle with to sugar coat my struggle or I can just be real and write about what I am really struggling with.
The hardest job in the world I find is being a step parent. There are many rewards in being a stepparent because in my eyes children are all blessings.
There are many rewards in being a stepparent because in my eyes children are all blessings.
Anyway that’s a struggle that I deal with all the time and it’s hard but it’s life. Making steps to improve tomorrows what I do. Everyday improvement for a happier home is my goal.