Counseling TidBits

Dear Katie,

I read a saying of yours: “Hurt feelings or discomfort of any kind cannot be caused by another person. No one outside me can hurt me. That’s not a possibility.”

What’s the best way for someone who has suffered (such as a child who was beaten or a person raped) to make sense of this philosophy?

Katie: Identify and question what they were believing in that cruel situation as it was happening. They can do this later–even years later.

When children (or adults, for that matter) believe the thoughts they are thinking during and after a painful event, they suffer. It is not the painful event that causes their suffering once the event is over; it is their thoughts about the event.

This is hard for some people to hear, but if you take a closer look, it is obvious. The event is in the past; the…

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