Day: June 2, 2015

Carl Jung, a psychoanalyst I’ve long admired, called this shadow work. He said we never see others. Instead we see only aspects of ourselves that fall over them. Shadows. Projections. Our associations. If we can see and accept those aspects of Self that we would rather cast out – the parts we don’t like – we will find ourselves more understanding, forgiving, caring and loving toward others.

If you want a glimpse  your darker side, try this little mind trick : judge others’ unabashedly on paper (for your eyes only!). Now, find the ways that quality speaks about you.

For example,

“I don’t like people who think they’re superior to other people“.

True about me? Lets see… Have I ever thought I was better than others?

• When I get annoyed that the driver in front of me is “too” slow. (i.e., My way of driving is better than theirs)

•…

We all have parts of ourselves we aren’t exactly crazy about. Yet true lasting happiness cannot be maintained until we learn to embrace those aspects we wish to discard.

Referred to as “the Shadow”, our unconscious consists of the parts of self that we have, at some point, tried to disown. We’ve built walls, developed defenses, practiced denial, and even built false-selves to camouflage these dark-parts. But try as we might, these shadow aspects show up anyway.

When we face, and embrace these parts, we find they weren’t monsters after all. Misunderstood perhaps –  but not monsters. Once conscious, we experience greater freedom, authenticity, and self-understanding. When we understand ourselves, others will, too.