Child of domestic violence survivor

As a child who grew up with domestic violence, I had to go to school and work and carry on in life as if everything was always okay.  Secretly inside my thoughts were always to how my mom is at home. Will she be alive when I come home.  Will my dad kill my mom today.  I have always lived with paranoia and worry.  Worry.  I worry so much to this day.  I have come to the conclusion that I have PTSD.  I always think people are fighting.  At the playgrounds at school, I watch children playing and my mind sees them fighting.  I always worry everywhere I go if people are fighting.  It’s just my life something I don’t think I will ever be able to shake.  Whenever things are bad in my adult life I smile, laugh and my outward appearance shows that life is grand!  My nicknames…