Month: December 2020

I attend a writing course & am becoming more & more hooked on it.  I am writing mainly short stories & poetry but still it isn’t enough. I don’t feel that I am ready to tackle a novel yet, although am playing with ideas on a semi autobiographical book, time will tell.

As I have previously said,  I have set up as a motivational coach which is still in it’s formative stages.  I get huge satisfaction in helping other people & have an overwhelming desire to put my crap life experience to good use,  however a new idea has crept into my head  & refuses to go away!   This in itself is very typical of me,  I regularly chop & change things , I couldn’t bear to be stuck in a rut!  However my idea could entail hitting my new business on the head before it’s had time to…

Respecting other points of view

I have a tendency to be very headstrong, especially if it involves something that I feel passionate about. I’ve always convinced myself that I know instinctively what is right or wrong for me. As I have grown in maturity ( questionable!) I have had to rethink a lot of my hard held beliefs, Particularly about my attitude towards anyone who tries to alter my choices without justification.  This has been very strongly engrained into my psyche, even as a small child I have had to fight for my often unorthodox attitudes to be given any serious considerations.

I was always dressed in beautiful clothes as a young girl & wasn’t allowed to question it, even though I wanted to be like my friends- I hated being different!                                    …

There will be a time in the future when you will find this ,my diary. When my words will flow through the winds of hope, struggle and love in your world to embrace you, to console you, to soak your tears and to protect you from breaking into pieces.
Listen this tale of mine when I walked on the path , full of thorns but I never complained about that and never gave up. There was a time when there was no hope and strength left inside me but I simply did good things just for the sake of doing them by accumulating all my strength.
I was falling. I was leaving this world and i saw the beautiful pictures of my life when I was rolling on my toes as a kid. The world was so full of happiness and those games which I played with other kids in…

Yes – I’ve been away for a while. Things happen – we grow – or we don’t grow. I’m not going to apologise for life happening to me. Death and life – and then more death and a bit of hatred… You never know where it’s going to come from or how it will make you feel. And dodgy internet – oh yes. It happens to us all. So…..

I am going to be posting again – as regularly as I can. The one thing that has kept me sane over the past year of death, madness, and destruction, has been illustrating children’s books. I’ve also started fan girling my own Shadow People book. I’m going to fan this on Youtube and also here.

So, I hope you forgive my long absence, and accept my odd re-emergence…

The Sun Walk
for, “The Wave”
by goura fotadar
dates: 06.19.20, 06.20.15

I remember walking home
and thinking why are these all not so ugly in color as compared to that one
but really that came out wrong
I was just a kid and
I wish I knew about Social Services when I was twelve years old
for one thing the starving that started right around then
would have stopped
my ability to control my Growth was not where it is now
and not eating really effected my growing
so did becoming a vegetarian
no offense vegetarian
but what devastatingly stupid mistake I made becoming one around that time
so suddenly and without any form of supplements
the monthly bleeding alone nearly killed me
or maybe it did kill me many times over like
once a month
and that killing made it so hard for me to move
and already…

tear was friendly he really was; he was a friendly tear

Sometimes when you were alone with him he would lose his temper and we would’t know what to do except each of us was, were alone (review)

Then we caught really

really luck

and the star was shining and though it wasn’t friendly it was Sun, beaten

and it understood pain,

and we said:

can we be alone still but not just with Tear except on really brief testing you know as

necessary,

Sure he said it was definitely the possible for us

Later we weaved into the water hoping for these standards for a long time,

a player of music nearby was going on and it was worth the whole thing if even once we had been alone with Tear; who it turned out was still called friendly; and we were now called,

scared,

it didn’t matter because…