Month: December 2020

Anxiety happens!  It happens in groups where I am being watched and judged.  It happens with the sainted Mother, Theresa.  It happens when I speak.  It happens when I don’t speak.  It happens under the eaves of the house as I sneak a cigarette.  Yes, I am 22 and chronologically an adult.  Yet, I still hide.  I hide in the bathroom nearest my attic confinement.  The perfume helps to make me feel better.  The smoke still resides in me and my clothes.  I get caught.  I get told I am nasty and dirty and disgusting.  I still sneak cigarettes whenever I can.

The only time that I feel less anxious is when I am completely naked in front of strangers or having sex.  I haven’t had much opportunity to do either now that the shit has hit the fan.  The last time I hung my big 36 double D’s…

Two cigarettes in an ashtray
My love and I, in a small cafe
Then a stranger came along
And everything went wrong
Now there’s three cigarettes in the ashtray

Kid: My Mommy says smoking kills.

Nick Naylor: Oh, is your Mommy a doctor?

Kid: No.

Nick Naylor: A scientific researcher of some kind?

Kid: No.

Nick Naylor: Well, then she’s hardly a credible expert, is she?

How does smoking enhance our lives? Looking at the pack half full as opposed to half empty?
Sex! Sex! And, sex, once again, ranks number 1 in our search to better society’s view on smokers. Anyone anywhere will tell you…if they are completely honest:
There is nothing better after sex or as a prelude to…than smoking a cigarette. Somehow the once disenchanted bedroom of a down trodden marriage will come to life via the smoke through a non visible screen from…

[also in this form: fvppostingon3320]

for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

date, worked on:  sometime in the past two weeks? & 21820

tag[s]: reading notes, and art analysis [art form]

Source, citation: The Emissary (by) Yoko Tawada

on cited pg. 6 of  … source citation

the line including “ … could it just be a disorderly pile …”

is a stand-out line [of art, too]

why?

end of cited pg. 9 to the beginning of cited pg. 10

can you visualize the art of

“ … like a bird’s beak …” in the?

about it “… dandelion(s) …”

in lines

then, of course let’s take a break:

“dande-”   “-lion”

So revisiting 1^st paragraph at this point springing back; sounds as if “bird” with … Also “train” component is applied of recent posting work in cited: fvp

cited p. 3

at the mention of “Rent-a-Dog” we have

for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

date typed up, on: 12520

tag[s]: art analysis, publications, economics, reading notes, streams

[also in this form: fvppostingon12520]

Wishes on fulfilling entry into a

stream; using a hard-bound

book for spare taking of organization

also known as pad/background:

support.

Review of culmination culture that an actual

book perhaps depending more on its size

and overall physical structure is a support;

the cited: (what?) (nsa?)

idea that whether you do

or don’t especially perhaps

if you don’t a book is or

can be a thing of actual support in your:

path to existence.

Imagine or conceive

if you wrote the book yourself

than at this level; we are

at one final stage: you can be your

own support.

It also; this analysis; delves into the purpose

of invention (cited: nsa?)

which is it might be

for aptitude…

[also in this form: fvppostingon123119]

for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

date typed up, on: 123119

tag[s]: (scanning,) reading notes, fiction building, political theology, product fashion

[source, citation: BINDI (by) Paul Matthew Maisano]

Until bare scan cited p. 18

“Ram”

“ “the son” ”

“atma” arrow to

“her heart”

“cashew”

An obvious fiction-sentences derivation; and-or fiction-like derivations

Are! (Is : ) …

“Ram” (is) eating “cashew”s  …  (that/which) are close

to his wife; to “her heart” [.] She feels that “ “the son[g]” ”

of “atma” is expressed through her

preparation of snacks: such, as;

“cashew”s.

So as review [economic, s]:

-available [?] item to a stream

-rendition whether brief or not of stream item

-re-cycle to perhaps or not a- usual cultural-semblance comprehension framework

Considering applications, without too much effort

[forgetting initial? exact? whichever? but not all, and-or any context]

the person goura

leads