Day: May 25, 2020

As a child of domestic violence my coping mechanism in life is smiling.

As a child who grew up with domestic violence, I had to go to school and work and carry on in life as if everything was always okay.  Secretly inside my thoughts were always to how my mom is at home. Will she be alive when I come home.  Will my dad kill my mom today.  I have always lived with paranoia and worry.  Worry.  I worry so much to this day.  I have come to the conclusion that I have PTSD.  I always think people are fighting.  At the playgrounds at school, I watch children playing and my mind sees them fighting.  I always worry everywhere I go if people are fighting.  It’s just my life something I don’t think I will ever be able to shake.  Whenever things are bad in my adult life I smile, laugh and my outward appearance shows that life is grand!  My nicknames smiley, giggles, mouse, etc…  You always smile, you’re my favorite customer, you always bring me so much joy when you’re here, all my patients at the hospital even the grumpiest ones I made them happy and comfortable.  I smile because it’s all I know how to do.  My coping mechanism in my life is my smile.  There is so much pain and sadness and worry and anxiety that goes along with that smile that people just don’t see.  I was once told the house could be burning down and she would be like everything’s okay!

I welcomed someone in

This dark world of mine, I don’t think that is a sin.

Even though we lived two hours away

Fate: somehow brought us together that Valentine’s Day.

By chance

He ask me to dance.

He reached for my hand and took my soul

I now feel whole. 

He’s my man named Mike

Lord how he makes my temperature spike.

A hopeless romantic

He makes me feel frantic.

Holding my hand

And stroking my hair strand by strand

Passion was welling up inside

There was a need to make it subside.

The song ended

Our bodies were still blended.

My ears ringing

I could still hear him singing.

So much energy

Just setting me free.

The clubs closing and the lights turned on

We finally got our roll on.

Next I was lying next to him on his bed

Many thoughts running through my head.

He kissed me passionately

I could feel his breath effortlessly.

Feeling each other

I could feel my heart flutter.

Me dressed in my sensuous virgin white

And my clit screaming this is right.

I look forward to the next time we meet

For it will be my biggest treat.

By: Liz C Wriston

I have seen the ruins of alcohol,

It is my father’s mating call!

Drunk light or heavy

He still drives his goddamn Chevy.

Stumbling into his sacred ground

He lays my mommy a swift and heavy pound.

Many tears are shed

As she pled,

For that she is only kicked in the head…

She picks herself up and I see her black eye

And she tells me I must not cry,

My only wish is to die.

God never graced me with this pleasure

So I kept living through this displeasure.

Life and holidays resemble being merry

To me it was very scary…

Being sent to school

Was very cruel,

For throughout the day

I would pray

That I would go home and find my mommy alive

Not an ambulance in the drive.

I am now an adult and feel grown

But I still fear that one day someone will call me on my telephone

Just to tell me

Your mommy is now free.

By the hand of my daddy she is now dead

And the memories are still vivid in my head.

I am now free from this horror

My life is now in great uproar.

I will always fear this way of life

And for this reason I can’t be someone’s wife.

People ask me why did she stay?!

And I tell you because she could not betray:

A man who would have killed her either way

For living there or far away.

Now my daddy is in prison,

Need I state the reason?

Us children left behind,

Now you tell me this world is kind?

Who ever said that life is a bowl of cherries:

SHOULD BE SHOT IN THE HEAD~

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