Day: November 19, 2014

Let’s face it: sometimes things have gone from bad to worse. Do we just quit, find someone new & start over, or try to save this one? Tough judgment call. Here’s some food for thought from some other sources>

http://speakingofmarriage.com/2014/04/27/surviving-infidelity-a-step-by-step-guide-to-healing/

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/surviving_betrayal

The toughest piece (in my opinion) from both articles is getting away from reflexively blaming one’s partner– whether blaming them for being unfaithful or blaming them for driving you to infidelity– and looking at one’s own role in messing things up.  But if I have decided I want to save the relationship (married or not), I have a lot more access to fixing me than any hope of fixing my partner.

The basic idea about change that I would like to add to both of these very good articles is that when we blame, we essentially give all our power to the other. When we take responsibility, we also take power…

(photo: Alamy)

I’ve been kind of busy & have some ideas for my next couple of bits of new content, but couldn’t resist this item written by someone who’s been there and done that.

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/being-bipolar/2014/08/05/medication-compliance/

Whether it’s med adherence, keeping up going to 12-step meetings, continuing a new diet & exercise plan,  or whatever, it’s easy to think the problem doesn’t exist any more after a lifestyle change has gotten it under control.  Hey, if I could run a few laps today and then eat pizza forever, that would be OK with me. But it just ain’t so. Maybe some day there will be ways to cure something like  bipolar, schizophrenia, or depression but for now, if you’re on meds that work, the thing that works is staying on them.  You may need talk therapy as well; meds & psychotherapy are neither interchangeable nor substitutes for each other. But that’s…