Let’s talk about our relationship (some more)

Let’s face it: sometimes things have gone from bad to worse. Do we just quit, find someone new & start over, or try to save this one? Tough judgment call. Here’s some food for thought from some other sources>

http://speakingofmarriage.com/2014/04/27/surviving-infidelity-a-step-by-step-guide-to-healing/

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/surviving_betrayal

The toughest piece (in my opinion) from both articles is getting away from reflexively blaming one’s partner– whether blaming them for being unfaithful or blaming them for driving you to infidelity– and looking at one’s own role in messing things up.  But if I have decided I want to save the relationship (married or not), I have a lot more access to fixing me than any hope of fixing my partner.

The basic idea about change that I would like to add to both of these very good articles is that when we blame, we essentially give all our power to the other. When we take responsibility, we also take power…